It's 2am in the morning and I couldn't sleep.
I woke from a terrifying nightmare to find my cheeks and pillow drenched in tears. The room around me didn't feel like mine at all and I miss the feel of my room at home.
I sat up straighter in bed, tugging at my hair and scraping it back into a ponytail. I let out a sigh and climbed out of bed, deciding to go downstairs for a warm drink.
A hot chocolate or a glass of milk relaxed me and right now, I was on edge from the nightmares.
I grabbed a checked shirt, pulling it over me to provide extra warmth from my crop top and pyjama shorts. Slowly creaking my bedroom door open, I left my room and padded across the hallway on my tip toes. I scurried down the stairs and entered the kitchen, deciding against turning on the lights.
I didn't want to wake anyone.
I walked over to the fridge and opened it up, squinting from the light inside. I pulled out the milk and set it down on the counter before turning around to find a glass.
A dark figure was sat on the dining table, hunched over. I immediately froze in fear, my heart skipping a beat. All the hairs stood up on my body as I took a step back, feeling my heart thump wildly against my chest.
"Don't worry, it's only me."
I jumped at the voice before realising who it belonged to – Jake. I breathed out a sigh of relief and sat beside him, trembling slighty from the scare.
"You scared me," I admitted quietly.
"You're easily scared," Jake replied back instantly. His voice was low and quiet, barely above a whisper.
"Jake?" I said quietly, placing a hand on his arm. He was freezing cold and I was taken aback instantly.
How long had he been sat here in the dark?
"Are you okay?" I asked, worry settling inside me from his silence.
"I'm fine," Jake shot back bluntly.
"Okay," I whispered, scraping my chair back and finding a glass from the cupboards. I had changed my mind about a warm drink, cold milk would do just fine.
Jake stood up behind me and I was very aware of his presence as he walked around the table until he was right behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up followed by goosebumps. Jake's body pressed against mine from behind, his hands resting on my waist.
He brought his lips up to my ear, nuzzling it with his nose. I felt goosebumps erupt all over my body and I shivered from his touch.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you," he whispered, his voice sending shivers down my body. I frowned, feeling confused from his sudden quick change in personality. Jake noticed my shaking body and his arms tightened around my frame.
"Are you cold?" He asks me, mumbling his words down my ear. I turn around, my breathing hitching as I feel my body press against Jake's. His hands remain on my waist and he stares intensely at me, blue eyes burning through mine.
Desire filled the air, the connection between us so strong and passion filled.
"A little," I whispered, my lips an inch away from Jake's.
"I can come upstairs and keep you warm?" Jake said quietly, his fingers trailing against my bare stomach. I suck in a breath, closing my eyes so that I can think clearly.
Whenever Jake is next to me, it feels like I don't have control over my body or mind.
"I don't know, it's pretty late." I mumble hesitantly, my eyes stinging with lack of sleep.
"Jake, can I ask you something?" I said quietly, feeling his chest rising and falling against mine. His breathing shallowed out as he continued to draw swirls on my stomach. My heart was going crazy inside my chest and I could feel my throat dry out from the electricity shooting through my body.
"Yes Muffin?" Jake answered, his warm breath fanning across my lips. I shuddered, pulling back to create some distance between us.
"Do you care about me? Like, really?" I mumbled, feeling insecure. It still surprised me that he would want to do all of this for me. I wanted to be certain about my feelings for him before I revealed them. I didn't want to set myself up for failure, pain and humiliation.
"You know I care about you Emily," Jake murmured, pulling back away from me. The heat began to disappear as he inched further away, his face masking over with worry.
I don't know what it was, it felt like he was holding back. Something was making him unsure and hesitant when it came to me and I wanted to know what that was. There was a protective barrier he walked around with constantly and before I can reveal how I feel, I need to know he feels the same way.
"Why do I feel like there's a but coming along?" I whispered, my nerves increasing as seconds passed. He glanced up at me with surprise in his eyes, possibly from me reading his body language.
"I don't know," he muttered in response, his words guarded. I nod in the dark, taking a step back.
"You're unsure?" I say quietly and moments of silence pass between us before Jake nods slowly, exhaling out the breath he's holding. Hurt instantly stabs through my chest but I plaster a smile on my face as I head for the door —
"Goodnight Jake," I say, my voice strained. I wait for him to reply but he doesn't and so I leave him alone in the dark.
Jake Crazed Idiot
The sting behind my eyes intensify, my body aches in places I didn't even knew existed. If I move an inch an uncomfortable grunt involuntarily leaves my lips. The exhaustion I've felt the past few days is beginning to take its toll on me. My body feels like it's on strike,
refusing to function correctly unless I give in and sleep. It's not that I'm refusing to sleep, it's simply that my brain won't shut down for one night.
I'm wearing an off the shoulder baby pink shirt and my hair is scraped back into a messy bun. Underneath I wear my pyjama shorts from last night and I plan to remain like this all day. My mind wondered to last night when things became awkward between Jake and I. I'm
planning on avoiding the topic entirely today. The kitchen door swings open and Jake waltz in, his hair wet from the shower.
Speak of the devil.
I scroll aimlessly through my phone, avoiding eye contact with him. . .
It's easier said than done.
Especially when the boy always looks so damn good.
Jake notices my hostile personality towards him and he sighs heavily, making me aware of his presence. I watch from the corner of my eyes as he walks over to the microwave, placing some oatmeal inside. He turns it on, the beep of the microwave filling the silence between us.
"Sleep well?" Jake asks me quietly, turning to look at me. His voice is strained, holding back from what he really wants to say to me. I simply shake my head and carry on scrolling through my phone, glancing at my unread texts. Multiple messages from Mum asking of my whereabouts. I roll my eyes at my phone, feeling surprised that she'd even noticed my missing presence. I turn my phone off, placing it down onto the dining table before putting my head in my hands.
If I close my eyes here, I could power nap. . .
I hear a chair scrape back and Jake pushes his bowl of oatmeal towards me, dropping a spoon beside it as he took a seat opposite me.
"Eat it, it'll give you energy."
"No thanks, I'm not hungry." I reply, my voice exhausted as I push the bowl back towards him. I really can't stomach food right now.
"You should eat something Emily."
"I'm really not that hungry," I shoot back at him, noticing his eyebrows creasing together.
"Oatmeal is good for the body, it's fuel." Jake said stubbornly, pushing the bowl back towards me. I raise one brow, passing it back to him so it looked like we were playing a game of pass the parcel.
"I'm not a car, I don't need fuel." I say light heartedly, wanting him to drop the subject. The real problem between us is currently being disguised as a god damn bowl of oatmeal. I sigh heavily, standing up from the table and scraping the chair back.
"I'm going to try and get some sleep. Enjoy your oatmeal Melvin," I smile tightly at him. He raises one brow but doesn't question my actions. The awkward atmosphere between us continues to grow until it's almost suffocating.
I leave the kitchen and walk up the stairs, putting some distance between Jake and I so I can clear through my thoughts.
I was packing my things away when Jake entered without knocking. I sighed and rubbed my temples wanting him to leave me alone. He walked in and stood on the other side of the bed, watching me carefully.
"Is this about last night Emily?" He said quietly, pain flashing through his eyes. They burned brightly as he looked at me, pleading with me to talk to him. I stop what I'm doing and nod my head.
"It's a little confusing, that's all." I say quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.
"You want me to clear up the situation between us, don't you?" He says awkwardly, clearing his throat. I nod my head, grateful that it's out in the open. I need to know if I should put a stop to my feelings or carry through with them. I need to know where he stands.
He takes a seat on my bed, blowing out a deep breath. I watch him as he reaches up, running a hand through the soft strands of his dark hair.
"I don't know if I can do that."
I'm surprised at his words because I thought I'd be getting honesty from him. Maybe that is his honesty. I nod slowly, digesting the information that he isn't ready.
"I like you Jake." I blurt out, letting him in on my thoughts. My eyes widen at my sudden urge to be truthful and I mentally slap myself as I notice the surprise flash in his eyes. He masks it over so that his face is emotionless and he quickly stands up, acting like I've grown two heads.
"Say something." I mutter, my cheeks turning into two hot flaming coals. Someone crack an egg on these cheeks because I'm ready to scramble them.
"You shouldn't, you really shouldn't." He says darkly, his words quiet. I frown at him, hurt as I watch his take steps towards the door.
"I shouldn't like you, why not?"
He simply shakes his head at me in response, his face twisted and contortedAs he leaves the room, I wonder what happened to him to make him so jittery and experience such discomfort. Despite that, I'm still hurt as hell and confused from him walking out on me.
I lie down, emerging myself inside the safety of my blankets. Before I know it I'm fast asleep, the thought of Jake still fresh in my mind.
When I wake daylight isn't streaming through the window but darkness welcomes me. I slept through the whole day. Its good job I have two weeks off college because my sleeping pattern is seriously messed up.
I rub my eyes and sit up slowly, feeling my stomach ache from my recovering bruises. I grab two tablets from the side before popping them into my mouth and swallowing them with some water. The water is like a god send and I didn't realise how thirsty I am as I guzzle down almost half of it. There's a knock on the door before Ivory opens it, popping her head round.
"Hey, you're finally awake."
"Yeah, come in" I smile back, sitting up straighter. She held a food tray in her arms and as she walked over the delicious smell of pizza hit me, causing my stomach to grumble loudly.
"You're an angel sent from the pizza heavens above," I say gratefully, shooting her a smile.
"All I did was heat up some left over pizza," she giggled, pushing the plate towards me. I reached over and picked up a slice, my mouth watering. I hadn't eaten since last night and I was starving.
Ivory grabbed a slice of her own before sitting cross legged on my bed, taking a huge bite. We both remained silent, chewing on our pizza in a comfortable silence.
"So what has my idiot cousin done this time?" She asked, breaking the silence between us. I sighed and put my pizza slice down. Should I tell her I have feelings for him?
She probably already knew so I decided to confide in her, wanting some advice.
Ivory scrunched her nose up in disgust once I'd finished pouring my heart out to her. I had told her how confused I was over Jake's actions and that I wished he'd just tell me how he truly felt.
"Wow, he seriously walked out on you when you told him you liked him? He should know not to treat you like that," she huffed angrily. I smiled at her, grateful for having a friend. It put me at ease knowing she didn't immediately agree with Jake based on the fact they were cousins. She treated the situation as if we were friends simply talking over a crush I have.
"I can't remember the last time he bought a girl back to the house so he must really like you."
"Do you really think so?" I asked, the excitement rising in my voice. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I bit back the smile containing my glee. Ivory nodded —
"Definitely, besides you are smoking hot."
"You're not so bad yourself pizza angel." I smirk, nudging her shoulder lightly with mine.
Ivory and I are nestled on the couch, several blankets surrounding us. She flipped through a few channels before stopping on the Food Network and I nodded my approval.
"I love this channel. I just love food in general really," I admitted, chuckling. Ivory gasped and held her palm up for a high five. "We're like twins separated at birth."
The door swung open, revealing a shirtless Jake. He was panting, his chest rising heavily up and down. Beads of sweat covered his forehead and my eyes immediately zoned in on his body. His skin tone was tanned, stomach rippling as he moved and I swear, my mouth almost dropped open in shock.
Tattoo's travelled up his chest and covered parts of his arms that were equally as defined. I wanted to explore and know every single story behind each tattoo. He honestly resembled a Hollister model. . . Fine as hell.
A sharp nudge in my ribs caused me to snap out of the trance Jake's body put me in and I turned towards Ivory, confused.
"Stop drooling over my cousin Em, it's weird" she groaned playfully but her words caused me to blush a crimson red. Jake chuckled, his eyes landing on my blushing face.
"I've just been for a run, excuse the appearance." His voice was hoarse and low and I physically had to tense my jaw from almost dropping open once again.
"You look great," I replied sub-consciously, my eyes drifting down Jake's body. His eyebrows rose and he smirked at me, knowing I was full on checking him out. I mentally groaned and sunk lower into the couch, did I really just say that? Ivory jumped up, wrapping a blanket around her.
"I'm going to leave you two alone for a minute, looks like you need it." She smirked before disappearing out the door, leaving me alone with a shirtless Jake Melvin.
It should actually be a crime to be left alone in a room with a boy who turned your brain along with all your common sense into mushy peas.
Jake made his way towards me, running a hand through his damp hair, combing it back. I tried my best to keep my eyes trained on the television but to be honest, I'd rather be drooling over Jake's abs rather than a pavlova.
Jake stood in the way of the TV, blocking my view and looked down at me.
"Can I talk to you Muffin?"
I looked down at his body again before meeting his eyes, nodding.
"Sure but put a shirt on first," I said firmly, knowing there was no way I could talk to him when he looks like that. Jake tilted his head to the side, studying me intently before chuckling.
"Does it make you nervous?"
"It makes me everything but nervous," I replied suggestively before realising what I'd said. I slapped my hand over my mouth and closed my eyes, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole for being such a Jake crazed idiot. I could hear Jake laughing at my expense and I groaned further.
Ivory entered the room, clutching a can before her eyes flickered between me and Jake.
"Did I miss something?" she asked confusingly which caused Jake's laughter to deepen, the sound filling the room.
Well played Emily. . .
"You're special Muffin… I can feel it."
"I'm sorry. Forgive me Muffin."
Jake was sat on the foot of my bed and I was cross legged on the top, resting against my pillows. We had spent the last five minutes staring at each other silently until he finally apologised. I looked up at him from under my lashes and he grinned at me boyishly, looking apologetic.
"You confuse me Jake."
Jake shuffled closer to me, the smile from his face dropping.
"Emily look, I really didn't mean to walk out on you. I don't purposely set out to confuse the hell out of your feelings." He admitted, running his hand through his hair. His expression turned serious and I nodded slowly, knowing there was more to it than that.
He was afraid of something but I didn't want to push him to tell me. If he wanted to, he eventually would.
"I have a reason for why I'm so cold and distant at times but I can't tell you yet. I'm working on it Emily, I really am. I'm not very good at this whole apologising thing," he mumbled, confirming my suspicions.
My lips stretch out into a small smile. All of us have been hurt somehow and we all put up barriers, some more than others. It takes a strong character to be able to admit they've been hurt in the past and I admire Jake for that.
"I can't ask you to do anything other than work on it so we're cool," I reassured him. He gave me a small smile in return. I watched as he inched closer towards me, causing my breathing to swallow out.
"Thanks for being so understanding," he whispers, sending shivers down my spine. His arms wrap around me in an embrace and I return it, grateful for his apology.
"I'm actually a very understanding person." I say in response, earning a chuckle from Jake.
"Don't be so full of yourself Wentworth."
I know he's smirking and when he pulls back, his eyes flash with intensity as he looks through mine. It feels like he's searching every part of me and I blink, suddenly feeling insecure from his stare.
"Can I be truthful right now?" He murmured, surprising me and resting his forehead against mine. I sucked in a breath, forcing myself to breathe normally.
"Yes," I whispered, breath trembling. His gaze flickered between my right and left eye before dropping down to my lips.
"You are beautiful," he said suddenly, taking me by surprise. I suck in a deep breath, his words causing my stomach to break out fluttering with butterflies.
"You're not so bad yourself Melvin." I say quietly, my heart hammering against my chest. If I remain silent, he'd probably be able to hear it.
"You think so Wentworth?" He questioned teasingly and instead of making fun of him, I decided to be truthful, once and for all.
"Yes, I do."
I take in his heart wrenching features, from his deep ocean blue eyes to his lips and sharp jawline. I felt Jake watching my every move, from the way my shoulders rose and fell as I breathed to the scarlet blush rising to my cheeks. He lightly took hold of my chin, warmth spreading through my body.
"You're special Muffin. . . I can feel it." He whispers, leaning closer.
His kiss never started soft, lips rough and urgent from the start almost as if he didn't have the patience for tenderness. I resisted at first, my body frozen in place from the surprise of having his lips on mine. The electricity that flowed through me quickly became addicting and I melted into him, desperate for more. Our lips both moved in synchronise, moulding against each other perfectly.
I lightly pushed on his chest to create some space, needing to come up for air before I passed out from the lack of oxygen. I didn't realise how warm my cheeks had grown and Jake chuckled, his laughter a low rumble.
"You're seriously not blushing after the kiss you just gave me." Jake teased, his eyes shining brightly. I smacked his chest playfully in response —
"Hey, you kissed me first." I defended myself. Jake quickly leaned forward, surprising me by planting a quick peck on my lips.
"Yeah I did. Now, I kissed you again." He smirked, fingers trailing up and down my bare arms. I rolled my eyes playfully at his response before clutching a handful of his shirt in my fist and pulling him forward.
This time I'm going to kiss him first. . .
And boy, did it feel good.